Dotty

Is it just me, or is anyone else sleepy today?

Etta

Are you kidding? I’m on my third cup of coffee and I can hardly keep my eyes open!

Dotty

I think it’s the barometer.  It’s ten AM and I want to climb back in bed! I’m ready to pop a caffeine pill. I have a meeting with my boss later. I better paint eyeballs on my eyelids just in case he goes off on one of his monologues.

Etta

Sounds like an excellent back up plan.  But surly there must be a better way to stay awake on a dreary day at the office.

Sandy (Dotty’s Shrink)

Ms. X is falling asleep at work again. One time she told me she fell asleep on the john during a short potty break. Office fatigue is a real problem on gloomy days. I’m going to send her a text message and inspire her to do a little chair yoga before meeting with her boss.

Dotty

My therapist wants me to do deep breathing exercises and some yoga before I meet with the boss. Lu-Lu would never let me live it down. She’d probably never say ‘hello’ again opting for ‘Namaste’ instead. You’d think for as much money as I spend in Sandy’s office she could give better advice like pop a caffeine pill then down a chocolate bar and a cup of black coffee. In fact I don’t know why I go to a therapist. I give better advice than she does. A caffeine pill, followed by a bar of extra dark chocolate and coffee, should do the trick.

Etta

Dotty Don’t!

Dotty

Too late, Etta! I already did!

My pulse is pounding and I’m breaking out in a cold sweat! I’m buzzed, jittery and foggy headed! I want to go home.

Dotty’s Mom

My daughter overdid the caffeine again. Now it’s going to be up to me to get her back to normal. I think I’ll sauté some fresh vegetables in olive oil and a Tablespoon of Ground Cumin and Cinnamon. These herbs are naturally calming. I’ll choose fresh okra and zucchini. Dotty needs to get her energy from things that support life, not a pill bottle.

Pockets

My human is on a sugar high and is feeling sick. That means her Mom will be cooking vegetarian tonight and I’m in the mood for ribs! The healing power of vegetables is big an urban myth. Every dog knows okra is a worthless table scrap! I need to do something, I’ll write a column on the benefits of red meat and post it all over the web. Then I’ll send out a few press releases touting my new healthy red meat diet. Who knows maybe I’ll get on Oprah.

Dotty

It’s Labor Day! And I’m not laboring!

I’ve invited Etta over to hang out by the inflatable baby pool and listen to the sound of distant lawn mowers. I love to listen to the sound of other people toiling away in their yards when I relax in mine! Etta and I are going to paint our toenails orange and chop on chips while we get reacquainted. This summer has been a whirl; I’ve hardly gotten to talk to her. If we have anytime left over we’ll paint white poke-a-dots on our orange toes and read First Magazine.  I just picked up a new copy today!

Dotty’s Mom

Shhh… I’m surfing the dating sites while Dotty is out in the back yard with Etta. I’m working on a few prospects. One of them was my old flame in 8^th grade. Everyone called him Frank but I called him Sparkie. If we ever go out again you’ll understand why. This is a blast! I’m sure glad Dotty is spending the day out by the baby-pool. I’ll serve them up some pink lemonade and keep them outside. I don’t want her to know I’m searching for Mr. Right until I reel him in!

Dotty’s Boss (text message from the I phone)
Dotty’s Boss (text message from the i phone)
Hey Dotty… ur project bumped to Monday first thing. If you need me, call Lu-Lu. Thx!

Dotty AHHHHHHHHH!

My toe nail polish hasn’t even dried and the Boss sent me a text message. He wants me to give up my weekend for a stupid report! Last time we went through this, I worked my butt off and he nixed the whole project on Monday!

I don’t know what to do. It is my job and I am on salary! I wanted to sit by the baby pool, relax, paint my toenails, watch the flowers grow….

Pockets

My human is having a bad day. A paper due on the Tuesday after Labor Day is altogether too much. I’m going to help her out. I’ll wait till she jots down a few notes on paper. Then, I’ll eat it!

It works every-time.

Nothing makes a dog happier then to elevate stress with a plausible excuse.

Dotty

Could someone please stop by my house and check on my Mom? Just pretend to borrow something, you can return it later.
I’ve been worried about her—she’s easily excitable, oddly secretive and keeps leaving the room to check the oven. So either a cake takes 6 hours to rise or she’s baking a batch of mischief!

Etta
Dotty, what could your mother be up to? She’s eighty! Just take a deep breath and relax.

Dotty’s Mom
Don’t tell Dotty, but I joined a dating service! And I don’t want her around while I craft my virtual identity; she might get upset like she did when I tried speed dating. That was a disaster! You can read more about it by clicking the link:

Http://www.frazzledcomics.com/speed-dating/

While she’s at work I’m going to update my site with a photo from Dotty’s book On the Spin Cycle. What do you think of my profile picture

of me feeding the ducks?

It needs to be captivating yet non-committal, mysterious but maternal, beautiful yet insightful. I want to look young, hip, fun! Wow, this online appearance is almost as much work as the real one!

Now on to the REALLY important part—what kind of man am I shopping for? Neglecting to note what you want in a man is like going to the grocery without a list.
…I wonder if I could find a man who would watch Dragnet re-runs with me. That Jack Webb was a heart-throb!

Sandy (Dotty’s shrink)
One of my client’s moms just e-mailed me. Seems she wants me to help her devise a list of qualities that she wants in a man. I reminded her that common values are the key to a happy and successful relationship. I suggested she make a list of what she values in life, then look for a man whose values match hers.

Pockets
Gee, humans sure make things complicated. Take my relationship with the Lab next door. We didn’t need Facebook, a web site or a shrink to bring us together. It was just love at first sniff!

Dotty

The 12 year-old next door is blasting me out of bed with his saxophone. Is it not enough that he practices all night long?! I can’t rest. It’s disturbing my REM sleep and interfering with my cell restoration.

So I’ve done the only thing that can be done – created a petition against underage* musicians. Please sign it and pass it on!

*(anyone who can’t do long-division)

Etta

Dotty I know you are feeling frustrated and sleep deprived but no one is going to sign your petition! Remember, you played an instrument in sixth grade too, after all it IS required! Put plugs in your ears, duct tape the windows and tough it out like your neighbors did!

Sandy (Dotty’s shrink)

Many of my clients can be so easily frustrated. Most of them tend to give up on their dreams and think others should also. They believe the great people of the world were just born that way. They don’t understand that it takes persistence and hard work to master any trade or pursuit. Take Ms. X for example. She’s upset with the kid next door for practicing his saxophone. She needs to practice patience and recognize that everyone has to start somewhere.

I know, I’ll send her this You Tube clip of the Muppets to cheer her up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgfZVNv6w2E&feature=related

Dotty’s Mom

I don’t know why Dotty is complaining about that nice boy and his lovely saxophone.  So, he hits a few notes out of the ballpark and doesn’t know when to stop. The important thing is that he keeps on trying. A drop of inspiration and whole lot of hard work is the secret of success!

That reminds me, I better go practice my arabesque!

Pockets

The kid next door is practicing his music and my human can’t sleep! It’s making her cranky. I better do something… I’ll invite that French Poodle over for a sing along. She’s an excellent soprano! All that kid needs is a few good vocals for accompaniment! We’ll howl at the moon and lull the whole neighborhood to sleep!

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Dotty

We travel cheap!

Some vacations are neither planned or costly.

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Pockets

My Humans are away-

I Better call the lab next door!

The Party’s at my House!

]]> http://frazzledcomics.com/travel-cheap/feed/ 0 http://frazzledcomics.com/facebook/ http://frazzledcomics.com/facebook/#comments Mon, 23 Aug 2010 02:33:53 +0000 Wendy Stout http://frazzledcomics.com/?p=670

Dotty

I can’t believe it! Jack Slack didn’t accept my friend request on facebook!

Who does he think he is? He was the geek not me! I don’t get it, he should be grateful that I am even acknowledging him! God knows I never did in high school.

Could someone please write on his wall and throw in a few mentions of me? Don’t make it obvious. Make it seem natural, kind of matter a fact.

…I’m feeling rejected. Maybe I should get implants.

Etta

Jack Slcak didn’t respond to Dotty’s friend request on facebook and she’s feeling inadequate. It’s amazing how a tiny bit of rejection, no matter where it comes from, can sting.

Dotty wants me to friend Slack on facebook and write on his wall. I don’t get why she cares. I know he brings in six figures a year but I’ll never understand how income equals sex appeal.

I’ll tell her he rejected me too. That might make her feel better.

Dotty’s Mom

Dotty is feeling insecure and I don’t know how to help her. Like many women, she frets over wrinkles, zits and pounds. Now she’s talking about implants. How can she understand that life is a process of letting go? With each wrinkle I have grown to love and accept myself a little bit more. I’m older and happier than I have ever been.

Pockets

My human is having a bad day. Being rejected on facebook is bringing up her self-esteem issues. I can’t help her with that but I can make her feel included by inviting her to an event on facebook. All my dog friends are going dumpster diving for ribs on Sunday! I’ll make it sound like a ‘can’t miss’ event. A good trashcan feast can make anyone feel better. I’ll pretend to be Dotty and invite all of her facebook friends; I don’t want anyone to feel left out.

Dotty

Someone sent out an event invitation in my name to my entire friend list, inviting everyone to dumpster dive on Sunday! I know it sounds nuts but I suddenly went from being a rejected nobody to hosting the most popular Trash Bash on facebook! This is going to be fun; everyone who’s anyone is coming!

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Dotty

I looked up Jack Slack on facebook. He was, without question, the class geek. I found out that he’s a single biotech engineer living in Seattle. In case you don’t know, that constitutes a universal geek reversal! Now I need to spark his interest and I’m at a long distance disadvantage, so l need your help!

I need to create a little mystique so he’ll fly out here and we can get reacquainted. Perhaps you could write on his wall and mention me—maybe Sleepless in Seattle too?

Etta

Are you out of your mind? You can’t be serious. Slack is a nut case!  In high school he had a reputation for smoking discarded cigarette-butts! Rumor had it he smoked a butt the janitor spewed out, half chewed and nasty.

Dotty

Should I Photoshop my photo? Since I did go to high school with him I can’t lie about my age. But I could spiff up my profile just a tad.

I think I need a really profound saying. Maybe I can find one online, something about world peace or saving the planet. It’s cool to be green now.  I better mention I have an organic garden.

Etta

Dotty you don’t garden and you aren’t listening to me.

Dotty

Etta you are too judgmental. People change. You change! I change. We are changing all the time.

Etta

Clearly, now you are an organic gardener.

Dotty

Etta, I’m asking for your help not your advice!

Sandy

Ms. X is at it again.  Feverishly trying to impress and remake herself. It seems to me all my clients’ issues boil down to self-esteem.

I’m going to send Ms. X a nice e-mail reminding her to stop looking for love outside herself. I’ll send her to Louise Hay’s web site.  http://www.louisehay.com/ That should help.

Dotty’s Mom

There is something wrong with a society where single women are at such an economic disadvantage that they find rich, but otherwise undesirable, men attractive. I’m going to follow the link below so that I can understand the equal pay issue more thoroughly.

http://www.now.org/issues/economic/factsheet.html

Pockets

Dotty is feeling a little needy these days and scanning the Internet for men. I think she could use a big hug. I better break my date with the lab next door! He’ll understand. He knows that Dotty’s happiness is important to me—and that means it’s important to him also!

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Dotty

Hey Etta! Dig out our high school yearbook—do we know a Jack Slack?

Etta

Slack? Never heard of him! Why?

Dotty

Well I’ve never heard of him either, but he apparently was important enough to be Captin of the Yathzee Club. Did we even have a Yathzee club?! And his personal quote is a mathematical equation! …Or is that chemistry?

Etta

Never saw him before! I bet he hung out in the lab during lunch and toasted his sandwich over a Bunsen Burner.

Did you know a Joe Munch on page 30?

Dotty

No! Is that a pencil protruding from his ear?

This is fun!

Let’s find guys that went to our high school who we never knew and look them up on facebook. They might be hot, rich and single!

Etta

Dotty you walked past them every day in the hall and never noticed them, what makes you think they’d want anything to do with you now?

Dotty

Come on Etta this will be fun! What do we have to lose?!

I found four men on facebook named Jack Slack! Oh and this one is handsome. It says he lives in Irving, Texas. He’s single and beautiful. I’ll friend him!

Etta

Why? It says he’s from South Bend. You didn’t grow up in South Bend and you don’t live in Irving.

Dotty

My therapist says if you want to meet a man you have to make yourself available. First I’ll Google him and do a little research. Then I’ll friend him by sending him a personal note. It’ll be love at first click!

Etta

How very Hollywood of you.

Dotty

I’m Dotty. I recently published a documented my life in my book called On the Spin Cycle.

Inspired by Calvin and Hobbes. I drew it all by myself.

I always doodled in school. It helped pass the time but not necessarily the test.

Nowdays I draw about life. I’m certain you can relate. Today I’m celebrating 3 months of blogging by posting a page from my book. I hope you enjoy reading it. Remember to order your copy today!

Click on comic to enlarge…

to order your copy of On the Spin Cycle please click on the book cover.

This comic is copyright protected

all rights reserved.

Dotty

Help! I found the document Lu-Lu has been looking for on my desk!

She said that I never gave it back and I assured her—repeatedly—that I did… Oops! Guess she was right! Now I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do!

Sandy (Dotty’s shrink)

Ms. X found an important document that everyone in her office has been looking for, but she’s too embarrassed to admit she overlooked it. So now she’s just sitting on its discovery.

I’ll send her a text to remind her that we all make mistakes.  Everyone does! All she needs to do is be honest, take responsibility and promise to be more careful next time.

Dotty

My therapist wants me to confess and hand the document over to Lu-Lu!

Doesn’t she understand my need to save face? Doesn’t anyone have any real advice?! Like slather it with mayo, slap it in a bun and swallow it!

Dotty’s Mom

My daughter is having a meltdown. As a Mom, you have to know when to help your kids and when to make them help themselves. I know Dotty can figure this one out. I’ll send her a reassuring text and whip up some banana bread.

BANNA BREAD

350 preheat oven

9×5 loaf pan greased

½ C butter softened

1 ¼ C sugar

2 eggs beaten

4 T. sour cream

1 ½ C flour

1 T baking soda

1 t vanilla

1 C mashed bananas

Beat together butter and sugar. Add eggs; mix well. Add sour cream, flour, baking soda, vanilla and bananas; mix well. Pour into greased / floured pan. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. Done when an inserted toothpick comes out clean.

Pockets

My human is having a tough day. I’d like to help her out. When the lab next door stole Mr. Hamilton’s shoe, he hid it in my yard so I dropped it down the sewer. Bet there’s a lot of random stuff in those sewers.

I’ll pretend to be a person and E-mail her.

Dotty

No one seems to understand my problem. Someone suggested I toss it down the sewer grate. My boss needs this document. I just have to find a playful way to return it so that I don’t get fired.

Etta

Do you need my help? I’ll call the office and have them page Lu-Lu to the lobby, then you can safely drop that document on her desk.

Dotty

No thanks Etta, I have it all under control…