D
otty
Hi, I’m having a pity party.
You can join in if you like. All that’s required is a self-absorbed negative attitude, a couch and a bag of chips. The kids are at their Dad’s and my Mom is out. If I had a boyfriend I’d feel better.
Could you fix me up with someone? Geez, what’s wrong with me?! Did I just say “Someone?” That sounds so desperate, who wants “Someone?!” Someone could be Anyone!
In our society, we have bridal registries to ensure that brides get exactly what they want for wedding gifts. Well forget the toaster! It’s the man of my dreams I want!
Groom Registry:
Height 5’8” – 6’2”
Strong build and in shape (works out, doesn’t laze around)
Light hearted and fun, with a good sense of humor.
Optimistic and enthusiastic
Likes kids, dogs and my mother
Loves to do dishes, dust and mop
Buys me lavish gifts
Oops! I’m out of chips. I think I’ll run out for some cheese spread and crackers- maybe a frozen pizza and a case of soda. While I’m gone you can call Mr. Right and line up a blind date for me! I’ll pick up some sappy chick flick… or maybe a depressing drama. I’d hate to wreck a foul mood.
Sandy (The shrink)
Ms. X is hosting a pity party again. The last time she did that she got too big for her own clothes. I saw the pictures in her book On the Spin Cycle.
She doesn’t need a groom registry to attract Mr. Right. She needs to become Ms. Right and Mr. Right will find her.
I told her that if she wants an upbeat, playful, good-natured guy, then she needs to be upbeat, playful and good-natured herself.
So many of my clients need an attitude adjustment.
Get off the couch, throw out the chips and turn off the TV. Take a nice long walk! It’s good for the soul.
Pockets (the dog)
Can I come over to your house? Dotty is feeling sorry for herself again. She’s on the couch bonding with a bag of chips. Last time she did that she couldn’t squeeze into her clothes. Sandy her therapist thinks she needs a walk. But how am I supposed to walk her when she doesn’t even have a collar?
Let’s go down to the park and make puppy eyes at the kids. Maybe one will drop an ice cream cone!
Dotty’s MOM
I’m at the pet store playing with the parrots. Dotty is on the couch again.
That means it’s time for me to get out of the house. I’ve learned that I’m not responsible for anyone’s happiness but my own.
I’m on a mission to be happy today. I might be strapped for cash. But the best things in life are free! I think I’ll hug a Guinea Pig!
