carpooling to work

Dotty Help! Can anybody give me a ride home? I walked to work today. Well…  my Mother dropped me off … a block away! I can’t be seen climbing out of a car that my mother is driving. I’m thirty-eight! In my book On the Spin Cycle I wrote about driving my daughter to school. [...]

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Cleaning House

Dotty I want to know: how did the toothpaste get stuck to the wash bowl, who left their shoes in the hall and what happened to all of my ice cream? No one is claiming responsibility. Things don’t mysteriously appear in the wrong place or vanish from the right one… unless of course, we are [...]

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Child Support

Dotty Yikes! I’ve received twenty-seven e-mails, and fourteen Facebook posts today. It seems Sweetums the over-stuffed floozy and Rick (my dashing ex-husband) want to join the local club—never mind that Rick still owes back child support. Everyone is sucking me deeper into my own drama. Each e-mail makes me more upset. I’m on fire! Smoke [...]

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Mondays

Dotty It’s summer and it’s Monday! I want to go to the beach! I have my inflatable inner tube in my lunchbox just in case. I’m trying to change my attitude toward Mondays, by keeping a “What I Love about Mondays” notebook. Here are a few of my observations: Monday begins with the letter ‘M,’ [...]

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Party Crashing

Dotty Etta and I crashed a super fancy party, down at the Ritz.  The tickets were two hundred dollars, but we slipped right in. The shrimp was fabulous, the open bar was massive and the champagne was positively the best I’ve ever had! We ran into that uppity Marcy. You should have seen the expression [...]

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Socks

Dotty Help! I just had an extraterrestrial experience with my dryer! I have the broken dryer and a pair of socks to prove it—but no one will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy. Russ walks away when I bring up the subject. Lu-Lu exchanges ‘get-a-load of her’ smirks with our co=worker. Mother wants me to [...]

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Kids Night Out

Dotty Shhh… Dotty here. I need a little help! My daughter wants to go out on a date. It’s not that I don’t trust her. I’m not sure what I think about him. Don’t get me wrong; he’s a darling guy. But when you get to be my age, you learn looks can be deceiving. [...]

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Office Dress Code

Dotty Waiting for the elevator I saw a hunk of a man taking a drink from the fountain. He had on a grey suit and black shoes. So, I pulled my compact out of my purse and powdered my nose while scanning his left hand for a ring. When I saw none. I decided to [...]

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Hosting a Pity Party

Dotty Hi, I’m having a pity party. You can join in if you like. All that’s required is a self-absorbed negative attitude, a couch and a bag of chips. The kids are at their Dad’s and my Mom is out. If I had a boyfriend I’d feel better. Could you fix me up with someone? [...]

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How to Get a Man

Dotty I’m running late, I have a PTA meeting tonight. I’m building a dunk tank for the school fair. Can I borrow some tools? Etta Are you delusional? You’ve never built anything in your life! And please remember that superglue and velcro are not tools. Dotty If you want to meet a guy, you have [...]

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